I fart in my sleep.
I do. It's embarrassing. My ex-boyfriend from years ago always reminds me of this fault, and I act as if he's making the dumbest joke ever. But he's right, I do. He knows it, I know it, my lover after him knows it. And now that I'm on tour, sleeping on random people's couches, sleeping around my bandmates, everyone else will soon know it too.
So I figured,
I'd tell you first.
I fart in my sleep.